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[March 5th, 2008] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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i.
like.
falling.
in.
love.
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[February 22nd, 2008] |
everything i own has been put in a binbag.
i'd run away.
but i have nowhere to go.
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| expect the unexpected [: |
[February 14th, 2008] |
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music |
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simple plan - when i'm gone (is actually sick ahaha) |
] |
it's been a lifetime since i last posted; and a lifetime of changes has happened. probably & mainly; adam. [:
alas yes, bethie has a boyfriend. aha. i wasn't looking and he appeared, and it's all been very fantastic. i met him @ college because he's a friend of a friend, and the first night we spent 7 hours talking. and then we went out for a day up town, and totally clicked. and a whole week later, we're together. and it's all so very very very good. i'm into realism; but i can see myself being with AJ for a while yetttt :)
this half term, however, has been waste. no-ones been up for doing anything, and i've only seen AJ once (yesterday; he came round for an hour). i may aswell be at college, cause the next time i'll see him is saturday & i see him on saturdays anyway. but yeaaaahhh. :)
i am pretty infatuated, he's all i think about. mega crush, much? i suppose i'll post the picture of me & him for you all to gawp at ahaha.
but yeahhh, my life is so very good right now.
& i don't want it to end :)
if misery loves company;
well, so long.
you're gonna miss me when i'm gone.
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| did you knowww.. |
[February 14th, 2008] |
that hadouken! have lowered the age at their koko gig to 16+? 18th feb, rawrrr, i wish i could go.
damn living outside of london. :(
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| our ambition got cast aside. |
[January 16th, 2008] |
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music |
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once apon a time in the mix - wrongtom (is amazing, :D) |
] |
i lost interest; it doesn't seem like you mean, i don't believe that you believe it.
& it feels like running with your eyes closed if you forget what you're supposed to be told.
lets go see raoul; lets make a stand!
for all the ones who, used to give a damn, working overtime,
our ambition got cast aside; thrown away when the batteries died
i like this song alot (raoul - the automatic) i haven't heard it in a long time but i bought an old NME album last week & it was there, so good times :) along with the klaxons. which was always rather fab, but i bought the klaxons album over christmas anyway.
while i'm on this subject, i may aswell talk about music. i think i may make a post about music every tuesday, that'd be cool :D.
so, the last album i bought was myths of the near future by the klaxons. it is an old album now, but it's taken a year to grow on me. standout tracks are, obviously, the single's released (as it goes on most albums). golden skans and atlantis to interzone especially. it's good, but it's not repeat-able. by which i mean; i can't listen to it everyday, which i do with hard-fi, bloc party etc. i'm listening to pretty much british-guitar-indie-pop or the new kinda synth-indie-electro-pop. for the latter, i've been listening to like does it offend you, yeah?, FOALS(who i saw in october) and simian mobile disco. there's a genre i've stumbled across and fell in love with, it's all keyboards & melody & guitars and it's pretty beautiful. bands like the great eskimo hoax (who i saw with FOALS) and MINNAARS (an unsigned myspace find :)!) of course, the majority of my listening is made up by hard-fi. but they're amazing; and anyone who is anyone should listen. my recommendation for the week is the great eskimo hoax. they're lovely & if you get a chance you should check them out on myspace :) i've got two gigs coming up this week. on sunday i'm seeing avenged sevenfold and then next saturday i'm seeing seasick steve. i'm really not into the whole "rock" movement anymore, though i'll listen to pretty underground post-hardcore, but i did use to like a7x and it's another band for my list. seasick steve is pretty up & coming. he's a singer/songwriter acoustic blues/soul thing. it's pretty listenable.
so, what are you up to with music this week?
in other news, i finished all my college coursework yesterday and we're about to choose a play for our performance in march. this is the unit i've been looking forward to. we might be doing the crucible, which i really like since i did it at GCSE in english or antigone which is a modern play based on greek mythology. i'm not so keen, but miss is finding it hard to find a play with 9 roles. so really, whatever.
i'm off to bed, i downloaded my russell brand podcast. i always miss his show cause it's just inconvienantly timed. i'm never really in @ 9 on a saturday night, so i just download the podcast every tuesday & listen while in bed. i love m'russell. oh i do.
nighttt :)
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| my updating has been awful. |
[January 12th, 2008] |
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music |
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lethal bizzle - you'll get wrapped. |
] |
but my life has been pretty hectic.
so after i've done all my college work tomorrow; i'll make some proper big fuckoff entry :D.
love.
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| this looked exciting :) |
[December 26th, 2007] |
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music |
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help! she can't swim - fermez la bouche. |
] |
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.
9. After you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you.
how fab :) christmas today!! well, yesterday actually now. but it was probably the best christmas i've had in a long while. i didn't ask for anything this year, i didn't even get much money but i've had the best christmas in years.
my parents don't have much money because of my dad, and his little alcoholic ways (eurgh) so i feel bad asking for something big, i asked for £50 and then my nan gave me £55 so i pretty much ended up with £105 which made my day :) but it wasn't about that. i got some little presents too though, 2 books. brand's booky wook & the second sharon osbourne book, cause i liked the first, soaks, clothes & eyelinerrr. i got the best neon green eyeliner ever, i can't wait to go to the sales on thursday with julie though. i love having money, i don't have it often, but god knows when i do.. whee.
but yeah, christmas. nana & grandad came over for an hour or so, cause if you didn't already know, christmas day is also my little sisters birthday. so it's pretty big in our house. she was 6 today, it's weird how time has gone so quick. she'll be 10 in four years. that's weird. i remember when she was first born thinking how old i'll be when she was 10, 21. this year i'm 18, it scares the living shit out of me.. and i've babbled again. ANYWAY christmas; we played some games, watched some TV and had a massive dinner. it was wicked really :)
though coming online @ like half 10 and seeing aload of twats being all "LOLZ I HATE CHRISTMAS" really pissed me off. if they hate christmas that much they'd give all their ipods, wii's, phones' back to their parents and be like "here, i don't believe in this shit, lets not celebrate it." but no; they'll take the shit.
but yeah, all over again for another year. such a buildup to such a fast 24 hours.
wow.
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| run down my street; adidas on my feet, i'm on fire.. |
[December 24th, 2007] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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hard-fi - living for the weekend. |
] |
christmas eveee! :)
how very exciting i must say, the bug has bitten me i suppose. was watching some christmas film yesterday and i decided that was enough to get me going for christmas aha.
seeing my julie today :)! gonna be good, just vibing around town i reckon. birmingham's exciting on christmas eve, you can just sit on a bench and watch the world go by. they rush for everything, woolworths is always the most busy. people buying lights & shit. and then, something will sell out somewhere (my money's on the wii this year) and everyone will be queuing outside the only shop that has some left.
i'm pretty happy tbh.
merry christmas & happy new year. xo.
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| don't you think we stayed for too long? don't you think the colour has gone? |
[December 23rd, 2007] |
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mood |
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lethargic. |
] |
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music |
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hard-fi - unnecessary trouble. |
] |
isn't it crazy how i'm scared to post a blog because i'm scared how people will judge how i feel? isn't it crazy i don't even care about myself anymore, as long as everyone else is happy?
mind. barrier.
scared of writing anything incase people take it the wrong way or people say "lolz u nt got no rl probz" or just, being judged. i have this constant fear of being judged by what i say. but, i actually don't give a shit. it's just this initial fear of people taking me at face value. when i go to write anything of any real value my whole head freezes. it's like someone pours glue in the space that isn't filled with muscle & fluff & innards of sorts. i wish there was a way of vomitting your thoughts. this'll be really gross but y'know, i'm gonna go for it anyway, when you're sick and you look at the sick and you can see little pieces of what made you sick. and you're like, oh right maybe i shouldn't have eaten that. i wish i could do that with my mind, just take a big spoonful, whack it infront of me and scruitinize the contents. i'd love to know what's making me so confused right now. i can't distinguish whether it's work, my friends, family, the world.. it could be anything, i just can't distinguish between all three.
have you ever tried to switch your passion for something over to something else? like "channelling your aggression". i'm trying to do that. it's not working, i powered all my hatred for what was happening into my love of hard-fi and now i'm obsessed. i have a lifesize poster next to my bed. and before i go to sleep and after i wake up, i speak to rich. i confide in rich. i tell him what's happening, what i actually feel about it and how i'm gonna sort it out. he's an image on a piece of old paper, but he knows more about me right now than anyone else in the world.
i miss simon. and i thought i'd never say that, but i do incredibly. i start to wonder whether i did the right thing in completely cutting all ties. i lied to him to make him hate me, and now he'll never believe that's true. in may, when everything fell apart with lee, i tried to communicate with simon; and he made his feelings pretty damn clear. he doesn't want anything to do with me ever again, if only he knew how much he hurt me, but how much i still adore him. he was the only person i've ever truly loved, and the only person that has ever truly understood me. he made me feel like a princess. i wish i could get that feeling back. i don't think anyone quite understands how much i miss him. i am dead to him. he should be dead to me after everything he said and how he treated me at the end. but he's not, he's still as alive as ever and i can still remember how much he made my face ache from smiling.
i miss him.
so. so. so. much.
and i think i just realised why i'm so down.
fuck.
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| we were hoping for some romance.. |
[December 17th, 2007] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
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music |
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flux - bloc party. |
] |
i posted this on myspace early;
"rant time :)
veganism; or more correctly, the voicing of ones opinions on veganism. i'm vegetarian, i have been since birth there was no choice for me on the matter, and the fact is i hate it with a passion. but i have only put that in so people aren't like "lolz u onli say dat cuz u eat meat" because i don't, and unlike most "vegans" or "vegetarians" i never have.
anyway, i have a complete problem with PETA. what a bullshitting propagander machine, it's completely stupid. they display every aspect of meat consumption for humans as barbaric. the cases they show in their magazine, which in my opinion is more useful as toilet paper than a literary device, are completely isolated. i can garuantee if you went to 10 slaughter-houses, you probably wouldn't see one that treats animals in the way PETA decipates.
secondly; they display every person who doesn't choose veganism as a twat. i'm sorry, that's complete bullshit. for centuries humans have been eating meat to survive, tell me; in ireland in the potato famine, if it hadn't have been for certain meats the whole of the population would have died out. would veganism have been an answer then? of course; the counter-argument is that nowadays there is much more choice around and people can survive without meat, but thus again. why should people have to survive without meat?
my mother is vegetarian out of choice unlike me or my sisters, and she will not allow PETA magazine in my house. my sister orders it, and my mother throws it away.
without being called specieist; i put human rights before the rights of animals. because i am human. i swear, if people care so much about animals, go ahead and do it your way because that's your opinion. and fair does; but you don't have to shove it down everybody elses throats.
veganism isn't the most sanctifying thing in the world, neither is the most superior. so i suggest everyone who walks around preaching this shit perhaps takes a look in the mirror and keeps themselves to themselves.
you're not saving anything."
and i stand by every fucking word :)
i'll update later x.
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